Blown Away

Today I had the misguided notion that vending for a visiting cruise ship on the dock at the good old Port of Astoria at the Never on Sunday Market, part of the Astoria Sunday Market, would be a grand idea. The next time I get an idea involving the port and cruise ships I will slap myself.

I got there around 8 a.m., and everything was just peachy. The ship wasn't there yet, and I unloaded my car, and started to get set up. Then I noticed that I was losing feeling in my toes from the cold ... and that I was ravenously hungry.

So I rushed home, got on some serious warm boots, grabbed an umbrella and raincoat (just in case ... my mother used to say to always bring an umbrella, it would keep away the rain), ran to Mucky D's for an artery-annihilating breakfast, and got back to the pier just as the ship was nudging her way in.

I finished setting up in a jiffy. Everything was cool. Everything was fine. I was looking forward to some serious people-watching, which is a big part of vending at the cruise-ships. I settled into my chair and waited and watched.

Right around noon, the wind suddenly freshened. About 10 minutes later, it hit about 20 knots in gusts. Another 10 minutes later, it was 20 knots normally, and 40 knots in gusts.

I don't know if anyone reading this has ever sat in a 10x10 foot tent trying to protect your merchandise and at the same time keep your tent from vaulting into the river ... but let it be known that there are not enough arms and legs on the human body to keep the tent from trying to take off, and your merchandise from blowing away or being destroyed.

Every 20 minutes or so, I'd hear a crash. Which meant some vendor's goods were being destroyed. There were several crashes in my tent, too. Then it started to rain. The wind blew the rain directly into my tent, which I was already holding down, as the tent started to "walk."

I grabbed more bungee cords, and strapped the tent-frame down even harder. Finally, I had to treat the tent like a sailboat, and reef the side panels, hoping to minimize the surface the wind could hit.

Needless to say, this kind of weather is not exactly conducive to sales.

For the privilege of getting blown to bits, chilled to the marrow, and having merchandise damaged and rained upon, I paid $35. I grossed $80. Nope, it ain't worth it.