Feline Follies

If there's one thing I can relate to, yet still don't completely understand, it's the house cat. I understand the independence thing probably way too well, and the insouciance, which is just a nice way of saying "smartass." I even get the cat box thing. However, I draw the line at puking hairballs and eating paper.

I have several house cats, some of whom are feral. I won't divulge the number, as it is truly embarrassing. However, here's a hint: everywhere I've lived, people have dumped cats on my doorstep and every feral cat in my neighborhood has found me like I was a catnip magnet.

One of my cats, who is named after a McDonald's snack (no, it's not Nugget), has suddenly decided to change her life. She was the queen of what I call the "upstairs cats" for a long time. She herded them, took care of them, cuddled with them, groomed them and ran to the top of the stairs to squawk when the feeder or water tubs got low. She was a very conscientious cat.

This summer, she suddenly retired to a cubby hole under the stairs, abandoning her charges upstairs, and just chilled out. No, she was not sick. The upstairs cats were totally baffled and confused. She hid under the stairs for a couple of months, only sneaking out for food, water, and the catbox.

Last week, she sauntered out of the cubby hole and decided to take on the downstairs cats and the dogs. Well, this was just unheard of. A rebel? The downstairs cats are resentful. One dog wants to bathe her in slobber. The other dog doesn't give a shit, she's not kibble.

Now she is prancing on the kitchen counters (NO! isn't working so far), rearranging the dirty laundry in the baskets by the washer, checking out my computer chair, reclining on TV tops for warmth, and generally settling in and establishing her territory downstairs.

I wonder ... is this the feline equivalent of mid-life crisis?

One Down, Two to Go

I was just pooping along tonight when suddenly I got a "breaking news" email from The Daily Astorian.

Not surprisingly, one of the three complaints made by the Pad Marquis' Pocket Posse about supposed campaign irregularities on the part of their opponents has been rejected outright by the secretary of state. This one was about flyers, and was a no-brainer, really.

I have no idea what they thought they were complaining about in the first place. I guess they thought they were rustling up votes for Marquis' pocket-padding by trying to stir up some indignation against those who think Marquis should just do his damn job and quit whining.

They stirred up my indignation, all right. I'm pissed. At them, and at Marquis, for the revolting bully-boy tactics they're using.

I mean, Marquis' posse are just the kind of folks who would have been right at home in Cotton Mathers' obsessive witch-hunting era. I find it truly scary that Maquis would align himself with this anti-free speech crowd just to make a fucking buck.

How the hell did this district attorney manage to get so out of control?

Voting "No" on Measure 4-123 is a vote to start putting him back in line.

Ballot Blues

Ah, the election. I am so almighty sick of the election, and it's still a few weeks away.

I don't know what annoys me more ... the district attorney trying to gull the county into paying him a "stipend" (when he's a state employee) with Measure 4-123, or the fact that he's publicly whining about an $85K a year salary. If he doesn't want it, I'll take it. I think I could manage pretty well on $85K a year. And without whining.

While I think of it, hey, if he doesn't think he gets paid enough here, he's welcome to go somewhere else where they have real elections. Whoops, maybe that's why he's digging his heels in so deep here ... he might not be interested in having to compete against others to get elected.

And this ridiculous blather that his proponents keep saying ... that he's been "re-elected" several times. It's kinda like the tree that fell in the forest ... has he ever really been "elected" since, as I recall, he was appointed to begin with, and nobody ever runs against him? Hell, even if he and his wife were the only ones voting for him, he'd get the job. Call me silly, but it's hardly a resounding vote of confidence when you win after not running against anyone.

Oh yikes (!), the paranoia. Some lady gives some money for the opponents of the district attorney's measure and you'd think the world was coming to an end.

What happened to privacy? This really reeks. I, who normally don't give a shit about such things, am repulsed by the threatening air about the whole tawdry mess. Donate against the cause of the D.A.'s stipend and your ass will be dragged through the press, and you and your donation will be investigated. Ugh.

And that damn cigarette tax, Measure 50. I don't even smoke any more, but sin taxes piss me off on general principle. Not to mention, all that bullshit about the money going to children's health insurance. Oh hell, it's one of the oldest scams in the book ... pass the tax, raise the money, and hire more administrators to figure out how to spend the money they no longer have because they're paying a shitload more useless administrators.

I don't know anyone who knows what the hell Measure 49 is about, really. But if there's the slightest chance it can stop the Californication of Clatsop County, I'm all for it.

Too bad we can't bypass the sell-out commissioners and have the citizens vote on LNG. Now that would be interesting.

Speaking of LNG, I hear through the grapevine that someone has defaced a Bradwood Landing sign between Svensen and Knappa. I'm certainly not in favor of defacing property, but I am wondering if perhaps it's a sign that a whole new element of the population is waking up to the ugly threat LNG poses.

I've already turned in my ballot. Now comes the waiting.